Bonbon's Friendly Funeral/Transcript
Bonbon: We meet here today to honor the life of Mooncake, a prostitute and a horrible mother. We give thanks for her life and wish her well now that their time in this world has come to an end. For Mooncake, the journey is now beginning. But for us, there is loss, grief and pain. Every one of us here has been affected - perhaps in small ways, or perhaps in transformative ones- by Mooncake. Hers life mattered to us all. It is important for us to collectively acknowledge and accept that the world has fundamentally changed with her passing. We are all grieving. Life will not be the same - nor should it be. Together, let us open our hearts and commemorate the impact Mooncake had on us.I would now like to invite to the front anyone who would like to share some remarks about Mooncake... I guess no one wants to share anything about Mooncake. And now I will invite my father DJ Fireball to share his thoughts on my mom. * DJ Fireball: Mooncake was just a sexy hooker back then, until ah got her pregnant. Da bitch was so old, ah slapped her on da back and her tits fell off! She was so poor, when ah asked where her bathroom was, she said, "fourth bottle from da left." she so ugly, she can only grow hair on her nuts. She was so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, instead of a menu, she gets an estimate. She was so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and "oh mah god, it's coming towards us!" * Bonbon: Uhhh, that's enough dad. * DJ Fireball: '''Whatever. * '''Bonbon: Please stand. Mooncake has safely crossed the barrier and is now free to experience another reality, along with all the joys which await there. For us, however, it is important to say this final farewell to her body as we commit Mooncake's physical form to its natural end. Mooncake, we wish you well and thank you for being a part of our lives. We honor your life and we trust you will find ever-lasting peace. We will not forget you. Go well. Please sit. The death of every one of us is in the natural order of things; it follows life as surely as summer follows spring. Let us think of the Tree of Life as a symbol. The trunk and branches of the tree represent the human race, and the leaves symbolize the individual men and women on earth – appearing one spring, flourishing for a season, and then dying. The physical presence of Mooncake has gone, but the tree remains. In fact, it is now even stronger because of her life - and death. So it shall be for all of us, in time. Let us challenge ourselves to take advantage of our limited time on this earth – let us live our lives fully, endeavouring to love one another and never faltering in the pursuit of happiness. We have been remembering with love and gratitude a life that touched us all. I encourage you to help, support and love those who grieve most. Allow them to cry; to hurt; to smile and to remember. Grief works through our systems in its own time. Remember to appreciate each day and to live it to the full in honor of Mooncake. We often take life for granted and yet it is the greatest gift we have. Finally, I have a poem for the fat bitch - "The dead are not dead if we have loved them truly. In our own lives we can give them a kind of immortality. Let us arise and take up the work they have left unfinished." ''Sayōnara, '''YOU FAT SMELLY PIECE OF SHIT.'